I guy I know picked up an aussie chick at the bar. Later, she apparently told him “I’m on a bleeder mate. You’ll have to chuck it up me dumper.”
That’s how you know she’s classy.
what good is a sword if it never tastes blood?
The bigger ones get dragged through the mud.
In der Regel hatten die Wikinger rote Bärte.
innit?
Fucking delicacy.
We Americans have to put up with a lot of justifiable criticism about a lot of American things, but my English dudes, THIS? Even Americans know better.
Ok so this is a shit photo, but seriously, go make it. Beans on toast is easy and brilliant.
Also, What’s going on with those beans? Heinz those are not!
heinz beans? what? just make some godsdamn bbq beans. go look up a recipe. hell, just go look up pioneer woman’s doctored canned beans if you need lazy beans, those are pretty damn good too just full of sugar.
I certainly would encourage anyone to cook it they have the time but the point of beans on toast, is it’s quick and easy. And Heinz is the best choice though an own brand is usually fine.
no, your tastes differ from mine so we must fight on the internet i prefer bush’s beans. i don’t think i’ve given heinz beans a fair shake though so like my opinion is pretty uninformed,
i usually just throw my own recipe on the smoker. if i’m not doing straight up chili, i’ll cook some beans up most of the way smooth but not entirely smooth (the smoothest hummus of your life is 45 minutes in the electric pressure cooker. i do 20 with bbq beans), make some quick gravy (mix my favorite BBQ sauces with a few spices but not too many as the meat’s rub contributes a lot, come to think of it i usually just use extra rub and bbq sauce and a can of tomato sauce) then throw it all on the smoker in a disposable foil tin with some sauteed onions and peppers underneath the meat to catch all the drippin’s and the rub that comes off the meat with it. after 2-3 hours the beans are done, stir it once an hour maybe if you want, put another foil pan underneath to protect from burning, and let it sit in with the meat until it’s done. top it up with tomato sauce, water, broth, wine, beer, rum, whiskey, or bbq sauce (whatever floats your fancy) if the liquid runs low, taste it before serving and adjust the spices. it’ll take a few attempts to get your recipe to where you want it and to figure out which sauces and rubs and spices you want to use, but it’s worth the experimentation and you get to eat the results. also they keep forever in the fridge/freezer
Beans are a staple side dish of BBQ, one of my very favorite foods, and it is often served with white bread, so we understand what it is. There’s just no reason to put the two together.
Besides, I know that with that first bite, a generous glob of beans is going to drool down the front of my shirt, and piss me off.
some foods need bibs (or eatin’ shirts) and that’s okay.
i can’t remember what it was we were eating, but i smoked something good (it was our first time using cherry, and i was hungry). probably SLC ribs. i warned my wife she might want to move down the table a little bit because there was going to be a splash zone this meal (i had just dripped a big drop of food onto my lap, rolling all along my shirt, as was foretold by prophecy). her response was to dip her finger into her bbq sauce bowl and then flick it at me :3
I have an unknown eating disorder, in which it seems impossible to eat anything without dripping it on my shirt. I suspect a lot of others have this disorder as well. It’s a secret American tragedy, hidden in shame.
I actually keep a hand towel in my car (I’ve got dozens of them for my job) and I take it in when I’m eating at Chipotle or something. It embarrasses the shit out of my son, but I always point out that I’d rather look dumb for an hour in a restaurant, than have to look stupid everywhere I go, because I’m wearing my lunch on my shirt.
When we finish, I always show him my “bib,” so I can demonstrate all the drips that would have been on my shirt. He thinks I’m pathetic, but that’s normal.
so i’ve had a “benign tremor” my entire life so i just wear patterns that make the spills hard to notice. hawaiian shirts, stuff like that. i have a couple shirts that repel water and food stains and shit. i have to leave for an appointment but i’ll get you the fabric blend.
one is 65 cotton 33 poly 3 spandex, two are 58 cotton 42 poly. if i spill food on these (and my family very literally has an urban legend about my mom eating a chili dog that has spread around the western US and part of el caribe, this is an heritable trait) it wipes right off, no stain. normally I’m a natural fibers, natural, breathable fabrics dude but when there’s a specific use case like yours (or mine i guess) it’s worth it to have a few microplastic-shedding shirts that keep us tidy.
Knife and fork my dude. I tried it once and it was a fucking disaster. Beans everywhere.
Spaff on me minge
In her usual U.S. Pacific North-West accent: “I… don’t know where that came from.”
WTF is a pnw accent
Exactly.
Nice try but sex isn’t real blud.
I’m not seeing a problem here.
I’d be into it.
Same, love an accent
Me voa tragar un par de pepas sin receta
para durar toda la noche dandote por las guaretas!
Yo se que tu quiere que yo coseche
frijoles en salsa de leche.“Uiyi Guaye” – Calle 13
Whomever can translate that slang riddle verse will appreciate the last sentence and how it relates to spunking deep in a bean loving arse.
Oh I completely get the last two lines. not sure what pepas and guaretas are, but I can assume from context what the pepas are for innuendo. Also, I assume voa is something mumbled into an unrecognisable form.
Also, you’re a man of many talents Jo, didn’t know you spoke spanish.
spoiler
I’m going to take some boner pills with no prescription
So I can last all night giving it to you up to your guaretas
I know that you want me to plant
Beans in milk sauce (partially digested beans in cum)Close.
Tap for spoiler
“Guaretas” is slang for buttcheeks and “pepas” is slang for pills, normally uppers but not necessarily. In this context, he does probably mean boner pills. “Cosechar” means harvest. So he’s going to pull beans out…in cum sauce.
EDIT: I spent my tweens and teens in the carribean, between the USVI and PR. I understand it and can write it, but my speaking is very broken.
Yeah, makes sense. I messed it up.
in the carribean, between the USVI and PR. I understand it and can write it, but my speaking is very broken.
Now… the broken speaking, is this because you don’t use it much, or because you’re speaking in a carribean accent? (says mr river plate with the pile of sh sounds and voseo)
Now… the broken speaking, is this because you don’t use it much, or because you’re speaking in a carribean accent?
Both. I rarely speak in Spanish, but also, the “Spanish” I know is from the north east coast of Puerto Rico and mostly slang and heavily laden with african and taino words. For context, think Tego Calderon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFPSmdbI_TM
EDIT: I guess I should clarify that it’s the way I speak it. My reading comprehension is higher because I did read a lot in spanish and I still can.
Macaroni sounds are out.
Bean sounds are in.I wonder if that’s what Beyoncé really meant when she was going on about putting a ring on it
Anyway ahe’s a keeper
With gusto.
The accent alone would either ruin the moment or make it impossible not to laugh. No middle ground.
Sounds scottish enough to me to be hot.
Giggity
