• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      11·
      23 days ago

      I’m going to start dressing up like a dog. And you’ll know it’s just a middle aged guy. Standing in a dog costume. Outside your window. For no reason.

      You’ll know all of that is true. But I’m still going to stand there. Still going to distract you. And eventually you’re going to come over and question me. That’s when I’m going to jump on top of you, and start licking your face, and humping your leg.

      You’ll be disgusted. You’ll try to file a police report. You’ll be insistent that this guy just won’t leave you alone. But everyone else except you will not see a man in a dog costume. They’ll see a dog. They’ll wonder why you’re being an asshole to this friendly dog. Then your girlfriend will be like “What is WRONG with you??? I’m going to bring the dog to my apartment for the night. I don’t think he should be around you right now…”

      And that’s when I turn to you, and say “Yeah man. I’m going home with your girl. Gonna sleep in her bed while you’re away. Hump a little leg, if ya know what I’m saying!!! Ha ha ha!”

      You’ll point and say “SEE?? DID ANY OF YOU HEAR THAT??? HE’S TRYING TO STEAL YOU FROM ME!!!” and your girl will be like “What’s gotten into you??? I think it may be time for therapy…”

      It’s at that moment you look and see a small frog on the grass. And you say “Oh, and I’m sure YOU are going to start singing and dancing now???” to which the frog replies “…what?”

  • vinyl@lemmy.world
    2·
    23 days ago

    I am diagnosed and sometimes I feel like im deaf or I have some auditory processing disorder

  • PizzaLamp25@lemmy.world
    21·
    23 days ago

    I just can’t process words. Other sounds I got it. Learn a song by ear, hear things other people don’t pick up, but words “I’m sorry, repeat?”.

    Doesn’t help I have a job with distorted walkies in the cooler/freezer and some coworkers just mumble so I’m just guessing a response and hoping for the best.