Instructions unclear.
Married a woman who plays video games with me.
My wife is currently breeding an army of factory workers for me in exchange for a ton of ammo and raw materials in Palworld.
The last two words of that sentence are the most important ones.
“…in Palworld” is the new “…in Minecraft”
*in Rimworld
Hot
Some of us have dated dozens of people and never met one what enjoys or is OK with video games.
women who enjoy video games are not exactly abundant.
I’m not sure what your point is? Ive dated people who didnt like video games too.
that you are lucky and statistically that isn’t an option for most folks.
I’d love to date a woman who mountain bikes. The ratio of men to women in mountain biking is about 100 to 1, far worse than video games. my chances of finding a lady who wants to do that with me is astonishingly low.
however what is very common, is for meet a woman who lectures me on how stupid and dangerous and dumb mountain biking is and that i should stop doing it. that’s like 1/4 ladies I meet.
“most folks” = “me anecdotally”
k
Given the ratio you’ve listed, it should be extremely easy to find women into mountain biking. Though I suspect you meant the inverse of what you said.
The answer to most ultimatums is no. It’s one thing if it’s something you need to change and is reasonable to demand, but even then by the time it hits an ultimatum the relationship is often in a position where the damage runs deep.
I’ve ended an engagement over an ultimatum and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made
What blows my mind, is everytime I was issued one of these… it was from a person who was objectively like way worse or had way bigger issues than I did.
Like, yeah I have to stop playing video games, but you have to pay off your $50,000 in credit card debt.
And the reply was, no, you have to quit video games, so you can work more, and make more money and pay off my debt for me.
And naturally friends/family took her side, because I have the penis and it’s my job to pay off her debts, or some bullshit.
anyway, good news is i’m single and financially secure, and happy, instead of together with someone being broke and miserable all the time and doesn’t allow me to have any joy on my own.
It sounds like you dodged a serious bullet there. I don’t know many people who started their marriages with huge debt who are out of debt or living happily at this point. Most of them are divorced. The smart ones kept enough paperwork to prove their spouses came into the marriage with debt, so they should not be held jointly responsible for it.
Yeah well, according to the women I meet, it just makes me a selfish horrible lazy asshole.
Almost every serious relationship I have had has ended because I was unwilling to pay off debt for my girlfriend. And they also all lied about it and pretended they had no debt. But in their minds, I was the bad person in the relationship…
But true that I am not stupid enough to have married any of them, or gotten them pregnant. One of them tried to get pregnant to entrap me, that was fun! Went off her birth control without telling me and then confessed one night when she was drunk.
And now I meet a lot of ladies who have like 10 million in the bank who think I’m also a lazy piece of shit because I can’t afford to drop 25K on a weekend getaway like they can. But I guess they aren’t in debt, so progress?
either way I continue to have my mind blown how awful and entitled people are when it comes to relationships and naively cling to my idea that we’re supposed to be equal partners who improve each others lives… but it seems that is not a popular mindset these days.
Them: You have to stop playing video games, they’re a waste of money and time and take up too much space
Me: Ok, then you stop collecting funkos
“You need to stop playing video games”
Normal people: says the person that is on Instagram and TikTok for eight hours a day?
I don’t even mind the hours on tiktok… what bothers me is the fact they become depressed and anxious because of it, because they are constantly comparing themselves to the lifestyles of millionaire influencers and thinking that is how they should be living their life or their life isn’t worth living…
almost every major big influencer/streamer comes from wealth, and pretends like they worked to get where they are… no they started there, and just decided to advertise it so they could con poor people into giving them more money, who want to live vicariously through them.
and every stupid streamer plays up that they are ‘just a normal person’. They almost never are. The ones that are normal people… basically live in shitty houses in the middle of no where, they aren’t traveling the globe.
THANK YOU. So glad to be free of that judgment and eating my cat food in peace.
Relationships built on ultimatums are very abusive. You’re forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do to fit your expectations.
If you feel like your only recourse to get what you want is to make an ultimatum, maybe it’s already time to move on.
I would never date an extrovert or someone with no hobbies for exactly this reason. They need you to entertain them or they throw a fit.
Big yep. Partner ≠ 24-hour therapist. If you can’t be alone with your thoughts, you aren’t working on your shit, and shouldn’t inflict it on someone else just because they’re there.
Yes, but:
Three hours later
OMG so why did you guys break up? You were so perfect for each other!
He chose his video games over me…
Wow what a loser, you’re so much better than him
So many on here are critical of the lady without knowing the full circumstance. Some people have a huge game addiction problem to level like alcohol or drugs and cannot regulate/manage appropriately. She may have tried more conservative options. If she said either you quit alcohol or gambling or I am leaving…no one would bat an eye. I play video games, have for decades, and know I can neglect my daily life if I let myself. So it isn’t black and white.
So I’m a woman and I play a lot of games. But I don’t disregard my other responsibilities over games.
I dated a guy gamer many years back and he played literally every single day for at least 4 hours usually more.
Mostly in the evenings. Most of the day on his days off. But he definitely would make excuses why he couldn’t help me with things all the time just to go and play games instead.
I sure would have liked to be able to fuck around all the time too but things have to be done.
He basically lived with me so it was frustrating to always be cleaning up after him because he just played games in all of his free time whereas I had to clean and do my studies when I wasn’t working. And the little free time I had to maybe go out and do something, he just wanted to play games.
Idk if I would call it addiction. But he just prioritized it over time with me. And I wasn’t even asking for much as I worked full time and went to school half time. He had a part time job.
I dated him way too long. 2 years.
He mostly played league of legends. He didn’t really play anything else. Which I also thought was kinda meh.
Zero other hobbies or interests.
As I said I myself play a lot of games. I’m not against video games as a pastime. But for some it’s literally the only thing they do and they prioritize it over experiencing life or being present for anyone else. Use it as an excuse to not help out their partner or take care of themselves.
I was always cleaning up after him.
It wasn’t a video game issue per se. It was him being incapable of putting in effort. And using games to avoid responsibilities. But I could see how someone might think it was the gaming causing the problem.
I agree with you, it isn’t black and white and every situation is different. It may not have been a full addiction but it was a major problem. Sometimes it is a full addition as wel but not the sole addictionl. You made the right decision, his excess video gaming was likely a manifestation of his overall behavior pattern. You likely wouldn’t have fixed him even with him playing games.
Yeah I didn’t break up with him over the gaming. He was a bad partner in many ways. The gaming thing to me was just him trying to excuse his poor behavior.
Agreed with most of what you said. Don’t like the gatekeeping over what a person plays though.
Pvp helped when i was mourning the loss of a fam member. That’s aside from other therapies though. And it wasn’t where I dropped all other responsibilities including handling estate.
Him shirking is bad enough regardless of what game he played. You had strong enough points on that.
I Just don’t like the gatekeeper shit in the gaming community. We got enough of that. Let’s do better than this. To each their own.
I just mean he only played one thing. That’s it. Like it’s kind of boring to only like 1 thing in the entire world to spend your time on.
What he plays is up to him though. Not you.
I think you are missing the point.
had you read my original post it was on point. with one caveat. you have decided to concentrate on the caveat. so no, factually i never missed your overriding the point and even addressed it saying i agreed with it.
it is you who wanted to go this tangent. this is your show.
i take this to mean you done your little power trip down this lane?
I have nothing against league.
My point was he had zero other interest in life.
He was a bland boring person. He played one single game only.
I don’t know what kind of insult you thought I was implying about league players.
I don’t know any aside from this ex who played all the time. I was only talking about this one specific person. I never said he was “just like all other league players” nor did I say anything implying generalizations of any kind.
If you are a league player who plays no other games, IDK what to tell you. The post wasn’t about you. If you felt personally attacked because of a description of my ex… Yeah again. Idk what to tell you.
Yeah, but those kind of people rarely end up with significant others in the first place. You know… because the do nothing but play videos games all day.
It’s rarely a good idea to give an ultimatum. Obviously state your concerns. Set some boundaries on yourself. If you’re at your breaking point, just leave.
Ultimatums just build resentment even if they choose you. They should want to pick you over video games. It’s just a short term fix otherwise.
FR. If a relationship gets to this point it’s for a reason.
If the partner is prioritizing games over their relationship or responsibilities, and is making the other feel like they have to compete for attention and time with their partners habits or addiction. They have every right to desire to leave that relationship because their needs are not being met.
the number of people who are addicted to gaming is 3.5%, of people who game.
the number of people who are alcoholics in the USA is 10%, among the entire population of the USA.
One of those is vastly more prevalent than the other.
I have played video games my entire life, and never once have they ever caused me to neglect anything in my life.
And yet, most every woman I have dated thinks playing video games is a disgusting gross embarrassing thing, like smoking. Even a few of them who liked to play games themselves.
It’s stupid, and it’s false. It’s just a cultural stigma because ‘cool’ people don’t play video games. Only ‘losers’ play them. And yet like 2/3 of the adult population plays them.
Even more weird when you think about ‘watching tv’ as an activity. People think you are weirdo if you don’t watch TV, because it’s so universally popular and has no negative stigma as being for socially undesirable people.
I was in this situation with a woman where she would get pissed if I would play games while she watched tv. Apparently we were supposed to watch TV together. Not talk or anything, just sit and watch. That one didn’t last very long.
been there, except in my case it was the same show, over and over and over. she had no interest in watching anything else.
and this is why I hate Parks & Rec forever now. lol
A video game addiction is a very real thing. If the context had been that he was developing some dangerous habits, that’d be different.
This is a reasonable response, however if his habits are inhibiting his lifestyle then she has every right to bring it up as an issue.
FRFR glitches be trippin
It’s not a reasonable response at all. It’s unhealthy AF.
If the partner is prioritizing games over their relationship or responsibilities, and is making the other feel like they have to compete for attention and time with their partners habits or addiction. The affected partner hss every right to desire to leave that relationship because their needs are not being met in that relationship.
This is what the ultimatum is targeting. His response being intentionally obtuse and flipping it back around to the partner whose needs are likely not being met in their relationship being the problem is extremely toxic and manipulative.
The whole real men don’t play video games is also unhealthy nonsense constantly pushed by toxic members of our society
https://www.aol.com/articles/dating-coach-reveals-why-video-181930000.html
Honestly this is a contrived conversation, but I don’t think the guys answer is that far off of a healthy response. It is important to shutdown this type of behavior when it happens.
https://blog.couplestherapistla.com/ultimatums-dont-work-do-this-instead/
She would be much better off just saying, “When you ignore me or your chores by playing video games it makes me feel like you don’t care about the work it takes to maintain our home and relationship.”
what a awful shitty lady.
half the women on my dating app matches love golf. it’s incredibly popular right now. it’s the new climbing gym.
Without more context she could definitely be shitty or as the poster I responded to said, it could be a toxic response if he is actually ignoring his chores and the relationship by playing games.
I am probably making more out of it than it is though and overthinking things.
i’m talking about the ‘dating coach’ who is clearly an idiot.
Oh yes, I agree completely.
no, that’s your interpretation of it. which is mostly projection and your identification of the two people as being ‘good’ and ‘bad’.
Why not both? Why not play together? Like… Some kind of… Threesome
Video games don’t cheat on you and they don’t mind if you cheat on them.
Proof acc to my backlog
I’m not sure that’s a healthy way to view relationships or how respect works with the reference in the image
Haha no, short answer: too bad for you, it’s video games! ❤️
The oh-so relatable manosphere /s
People’s are equals; you must deal with your own insecurities and worry about other’s later. We’re more similar than you think, and it’s ok to love thineself
…he said, adjusting his gaming diaper.
She found out he was a G*mer and tried to save him.
Sad that he’s too far gone to be saved.
Who is “he” in this?
