“Why is god only taking blonde bimbos to heaven?”

Me, crouched in front of the fridge at 3 in the morning.

That’s a lion.

Q: Real Estate?

Not the hero we deserve. The hero we need.

I don’t think those outlets belong outside.

When I was a kid ,none of those three existed.

MOVE must be in another room.

“Guys, I fucked up. I watched the WRONG Alien vs Predator movie. I need therapy.”

He’s the reason why they won’t come back.

Charcoal… used to cook more bacon.

If someone was a professional clown, and their gravestone doesn’t squeak when you push it, were they a professional clown?

heavy sigh

Charlie Kirk doesn’t have nightmares anymore.

Why does that logo look like a battleship?

All video recorded on an iDevice defaults to HEVC h.265 .mov. QuickTime is dead (at least to the public) but the codecs are an industry standard.

Emotional support fern.

Map crime cutting Africa in half.