Clit Destroyer 3000

Platypuses are one of the few venomous mammals. Males have a spur on their hind legs, which can inject a venom that can make a human sick for several weeks.

HA! My X’s family of batshit crazy and dirt poor Fundies used to brag about how Gawd met all their needs. No. Actually, they just harassed their family and church members until someone gave in just to shut them up.

I live in a conservative suburb where every other person you meet is in some megachurch, so it’s inevitable. Having recently retired, I’m quickly running out of fux to give. One day I’m going to tell one of them how my Lord Cthulhu has changed my life, and see how fast they bail.

“If you don’t have anything to hide, why would you be against this?” – Americans

“I’m literally made out of one of your bones! And you STILL can’t find it?”

I remember having to use Norton for that.

“And I would’ve got away with it, if it weren’t for you MEDDLING MARXISTS!”

Next pandemic, CDC will tell us to fuck off and eat ivermectin.

nO 1 wAnTs 2 wOrK nE mOaR!!1!11!!

“These kids today need to be as miserable and depressed as we are!”

“Show me on the doll where Donald touched you, Xenomorph.”

“Removal of shoes is not allowed on a PaveCorp sidewalk. A $20 surcharge has been added to your walk today.”

OK Boomer

The First Amendment is only for white male Conservative evangelicals, don’ch’a know.

Gwyneth Paltrow, we found your toy.

And in the states, Panem et Circenses, not even free, and it still keeps Joe Commuter docile and obedient.

Fuck. I will eventually have to buy my own pasteurization equipment, won’t I?

Idiots. Raw milk is going to spread H5N1, which will ravage this country because there won’t be a vaccine.

IOKIYAR

That wasn’t all they did in their armor. And their faithful servant got to clean it all.