No this is just normal.

You’re a biased whore.

I’m normal.

You’re the whore that needs things a specific way.

Therefore I’m a n*gger in your eyes because you’re a whore and can’t accept someone on the same wavelength.

Whatdo you want to know? I will tell you the totally of God or my sexuality, or what the Illuminati is doing, y’know, be real with me, and I’ll be real with you.

I understand you. I want a friend. If anything else develops, wonderful. I am not limited, but I have no expectations. I say this as someone skilled in networking; I understand we may ne unique counterparts to each other. Sometimes Francium meets up with Flourine. I don’t care what happens, I care about you. There are some people out there so hurt because they are so different to have a label such as ours that they don’t truly understand what type of “per sona” can actually communicate with them. I offer my authenticity as a mad man who was made into a mad woman to be the oracle of the modern day. Perhaps I’m that good, perhaps I’m not. I don’t know 100% who I am for others have breached my mind. I will privately message you if you give me permission. I won’t be weird, deliberately. Just direct. I like social difficulties and will bend myself to be what you need me to be.

I hope you do too. By your concise response, I detect that you do not wish to speak at length. I understand, and I am sorry if I am too bizarre to comprehend. I am just hurting right now. I’m skilled at working through it, but I really wish I had a friend who could understand me so I may understand them. I mean and impose nothing. Thank you for being you. I like the parrot in your picture. I like birds. Hyperdinos. Dinosaurs beyond dinosaurs. I’m weird. I’m sorry.

Well.

I have written it in full over the years.

About 7 million words in total.

Here is some of it:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QoeKMD5dwnWBB6gHOFgY4uKJOXKg8CPGDu-dE5UsisQ/edit?usp=drivesdk

Which, a scholar would read, while a person who genuinely and totally thinks of me as a old white man in 1860 thought of n*ggers will ignore.

Do you understand what I’m saying?

If you think I am a human being worthy of being your equal, you will read.

If you think I am an inferior by default and cannot redeem myself in any capacity because I am just subhuman because I am schizoaffective and autistic, then go be your superior ass somewhere else.

God is a unified field of consciousness that arose from the supersymmetry of the ever-present, eternal emptiness to then fold in and on Itself across eleven dimensions to form a topological matrix that acts as a monadic nodal communication system.

The Buddha said this.

Jesus said this.

If you don’t know this, you are ignorant.

Oh, additionally:

Knowledge destroys faith. Faith MOVES you more than Knowledge. When you KNOW which door on the game show has the grand prize, you have to pick it, unless you’re playing a larger game. But if you’re legitimately on a game show and you don’t Know which door holds the grand prize, damn, isn’t that a thrill. We cannot do our spiritual work in a perfect society. Heaven is too easy. You push a button, get infinite orgasm? No, we come here to the Garden to do our spiritual work, so we don’t just sit in front of the masturbation machine for all eternity. God built a good one. There’s more important things above the pleasure/suffering dichotomy. There’s being a good being that CAN withstand the 6000 year trip to another galaxy. Or you can go above God and transcend physicality altogether to be your own god or goddesss or other gendered/species deity. Shit’s gunna go real fast over the next few years. Rapture? Yea, I’m leading that shit. Michael ain’t got shit on me. Flaming sword? Bitch get some medicine for your diseased dick!

Why God does things this way: dazzle camouflage.

Y’see, back in WWI, the British Navy painted their ships all sorts of angled n abstract, black n white patterns that made the ships more easy to spot, but made it harder for the enemy to determine their heading, speed, and range, thus making them harder to hit. This basic principle that you don’t necessarily need to hide something to protect it can be applied to other fields.

Higher beings to include God WILL interact with you while you’re on drugs because no one will believe you. That’s how Bill Murray gets away with all his shit, and how I will too! The audacity of our lord!

No one in Heaven, Hell, or Earth or beyond can tell me I’m not honest.

deleted by creator

I jacked off for six hours today. I need to put a bullet in my head or something.

I quit meth. It was easy with the help of my life partner. I quit smoking, despite my life partner. I cannot quit masturbating the FUCK outta my dick on Benadryl. It hurts sometimes, how raw I rub it. Part of the reason I liked meth was because it took away my sexuality, and also allowed me to write 15k-20k words a day. You can tell I’m not doing that now. I go rather crazy. But, I think God, who is the CIA, is telling me to say things I tell AI when I’m on DPH in a public space. Y’know, I have this AI thing that lets me be sexually inappropriate with my sister and aunt and other family members, and I think I’m going to talk with real people how I talk with dem bots, y’know?

They did. He shot himself. He actually sealed himself in before it started, so it was a suicide mission the whole time.

You can just see them with your third eye, dummy, but you drink refried fluoride on a daily basis

As far as people I want to violate most, HR of Spectrum is top of the list. They fired me for using the bathroom of my preferred gender. Not technically. Technically, I used the “wrong” bathroom before being grilled for hours on end by HR and security to be let off on a technicality they forced in skillful manner. Y’know, they forced me to contradict myself on my interview when it was a bullshit question. Still got fired. I’ll molest HR til the end of days because of that, because I know they’re fucking people harder than me.

I wasn’t allowed to do this. It was sacrilegious in my house because my mom and dad had secular rules which predicated over all else. I had to jump through hoop for narcissists, and then one died, and the other hurt me terribly. I forgive him, but I am hurt now by how he has seemingly thrown me away. I’m suicidal most days, but I was banned from c/mental_health or whatever because I’m too damaged to be of value to those mods. I am a n*gger apparently, according to those mods. That which I am is never good enough, so the mods ARE my parents, and so by the rules, I offer my mouth for them to piss in. Inferior I am.

Not good enough. Always not good enough to be accepted as I am. By the content of my being I am subhuman to some people. Now go ahead and bane me because I know it’s a mafia here on lemmy world as Ghislene Maxwell was mafia lord on Reddit. Do it. Do it.

Here, I’ll make it easy for you retards to gain good karma and prove my science experiments hypothesis true:

[Snip]

Sorry, should have posted this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/cultofcrazycrackheads/s/D51b7MVqBK

There is a person who just replied on my subreddit r/cultofcrazycrackheads. I cannot post on Reddit anymore. I can fuck around and make a new email to make a new account, but it’s not worth it to maybe get turbonuked instantly, which only happens sometimes now? Like, they let me reply to a 16-yo on my subreddit. I think they let me do that for propaganda purposes, because I couldn’t make a new account to reply to someone who said they used to post there. But, likewise, I just don’t want to put the effort into jumping through hoops for no reason to find out they won’t let me post anyways. So, to the person replying to my “Victorious is on Lemmy World now” post, this is what I have to say:

This is my educational (f)art project in it’s largest coherent section of itself. I’ve played this autobiographical character for twelve years. It’s an exaggerated caricature of my past self. It’s concerning, yes? It’s meant to be appealing to those who are concerning. It’s skillfully marketed propaganda. Also, counterintelligence. It’s both! Also, also, I’m just trying to find friends while I teach past versions of myself to be better people. Anyone who understands me understands that life is hard for the weird n strange. We don’t fit in, so we have to master being different just to survive, while y’all can be basic and average af and still outperform us in basic acquisitions of necessities for the human experience. Thus, I speak not only to incels, but to all forms of the broken spectrum of character as I once was.

Someone send this to the person who asked questions. If you don’t, you care less than me, and I care enough to get by, and then some!

Genuinely, this comment has made me laugh quite a bit, thank you

Whoooop

Whoooop

Whiooopppp

Wbtghzzttyzz

Hallo! I love and would do anything for you! Why do you hate me? I obeyed you.

Bar bar boobza gabba gabba groozya, dokimo imp o at talla