My favorite subreddits are the ones like “boy dinner diaries,” where people are invited to pour their hearts out to strangers online, admit to some mistakes or failures, talk about what’s bothering them, big or small… and then get absolutely raked over the coals by thousands of repetitive comments if they commit even the slightest infraction. God help you if you admit to something like infidelity.
I get that this stuff is triggering for people, but I just don’t see the point in sharing it if the community won’t give you the benefit of the doubt or is just going to use you as a prop for their own white knighting.
Judgement free zones don’t really exist. It’s naive to think you can confess to being a horrible person and get reactions as if you aren’t. And you can’t force participation in a community mindset; even if you fully intend to leave judgement at the door, you can’t stop people from coming in specifically to judge. Similar thing with communities like unpopular opinion, as any get more exposure, the odds of them getting shown to people who aren’t in on the “upvote unpopular opinions” increase, meaning they transition to “popular opinion”.
Similar with “just be honest” in personal relationships. Sometimes the thing you’re being honest about is more important than the fact you were being honest. That’s not to say you should be dishonest in your relationships, but “telling the truth” doesn’t give a free pass from judgement for that truth.
My favorite subreddits are the ones like “boy dinner diaries,” where people are invited to pour their hearts out to strangers online, admit to some mistakes or failures, talk about what’s bothering them, big or small… and then get absolutely raked over the coals by thousands of repetitive comments if they commit even the slightest infraction. God help you if you admit to something like infidelity.
I get that this stuff is triggering for people, but I just don’t see the point in sharing it if the community won’t give you the benefit of the doubt or is just going to use you as a prop for their own white knighting.
Judgement free zones don’t really exist. It’s naive to think you can confess to being a horrible person and get reactions as if you aren’t. And you can’t force participation in a community mindset; even if you fully intend to leave judgement at the door, you can’t stop people from coming in specifically to judge. Similar thing with communities like unpopular opinion, as any get more exposure, the odds of them getting shown to people who aren’t in on the “upvote unpopular opinions” increase, meaning they transition to “popular opinion”.
Similar with “just be honest” in personal relationships. Sometimes the thing you’re being honest about is more important than the fact you were being honest. That’s not to say you should be dishonest in your relationships, but “telling the truth” doesn’t give a free pass from judgement for that truth.
it’s all bait